


drowning

by smolxtol



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BoyxBoy, Cheating, Cutting, Depression, Drug Use, Fights, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mental Abuse, Mentions of Rape, Oh, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Physical Abuse, Protective Harry, Sad Louis, Severe Depression, Smoke Weed Everyday, Smut, Tears, Top!Harry, Zayn and Louis are best friends, bottom!Louis, harry saves louis, harry tries to save him, i think thats it, liam and niall try to save the band, liam and zayn arelike together because i mean, lots of drug mentions, louis and Harry are so cute, louis boyfriend is a dick, louis gets put in hospital, louis gets really depressed, louis is harrys baby, may be a MAJOR character death i dont know yet.., mild alcohol use, protective harry is hot ok, scared lou, smoking joints, snorting coke, so many tears, suicidal, um, um what else.., yay, zayn is still their friend, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 19:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5387216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolxtol/pseuds/smolxtol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i feel like im drowning,<br/>being pulled under by waves.<br/>except this sea isnt made of water;<br/>its made of hopelessness,<br/>and despair,<br/>and no matter<br/>how fast i swim<br/>the dark flood always<br/>pulls me<br/>back out.</p>
<p>s.j.b</p>
            </blockquote>





	drowning

_short chapters/lower case intended_

_reminder:if you did not read the tags of the book, this story contains, mild alcohol use, but strong drug use, some smut (boyxboy), cutting, and very severe depression. if any triggers you in anyway please_ **_ do not read any further _ ** _. i have warned you, so read at your own risk._

_also, this book may contain slow updates, sorry x_

_\---_  


love isnt a word you can just throw around, some people actually take the word seriously. they believe the word that you are telling them, they put their trust in you when you whisper it in your ear when you are holding them close.  


they  _feel_ love when you tell it to them.  


although, sometimes when people say that word, when they whisper it to you, while they are sticking their dick in you, they dont mean it. they are just carelessly throwing the word around like its nothing. like its just a word to them that doesnt matter.   


but to you, the word means everything. it means the hand holding, the snuggling after sex, the warmness of your body heat, the forehead touches, the kisses you share in the dark, the giggling on the floor while you're wrestling, the silent conversations your eyes hold, it means the world to louis.  


but, to louis past boyfriend, jake, he just intended to hurt louis. he didnt mean any words he told louis, he just carelssly threw the word around like it was a basketball on a court, and louis was the basketballer, chasing after the word, for the affection and love he craved for, the affection and love he  _deserved._  


but sometimes, you end up with the wrong people you think are right for you.  


like louis did.   


he deserved everything in the world, he deserved, affection, love, someone to hold him when he was crying, someone to please him, someone to tender to him when he was sick, someone to kiss him slowly under the moon, while they were slow dancing. louis deserved the world at his feet.  


but, the world wasnt given to him. instead, when he was crying, he would be left in his room feeling depressed. he didnt get to feel love like others did, he didnt get to slow dance under the moon while he was kissed softly.  


but louis insisted jake loved him, he insisted that jake was in love with him like louis was in love with him. he blamed himself whenever jake would hit louis, louis would blame himself when jake would call him every horrible name under the sun.  


and, all harry could do was watch in pain as louis was hurt, because louis would refuse to let harry help him. harry just wanted to help louis, to hold him close, and give him soft kisses under the moon, and slow dance with him, and harry just wanted to protect the small boy that got treated so badly by someone who should cherish him.  


and when jake carelessly tossed louis to the side when he found another person to ruin their life, he left louis in a sobbing mess. louis blamed himself for everything. and when harry held him, he just felt like he should of helped louis when he could, because even if it meant louis wouldnt of spoke to him, it would of hurt less then to watch louis suffer like this, to watch louis sob over someone he shouldnt even care about, because jake didnt even care about louis.

louis was drowning when harry found him on the ground, in a sobbing mess. and harry is going to do everything he can to save the boy that deserves the world. 

**kudos xx**


End file.
